A Brief Introduction to LFA & FLR

serving-pleasing-herLoving Female Authority (LFA) and Female-Led Relationships (FLR) are basically the same idea and simply alternative ways of naming and defining a philosophy for relationships based on female domination and male submission. Namely, relationships in which the woman in in control and the male submits to her authority. She trains and conditions her male as she sees fit and he is taught that her authority over his life is absolute.

And by absolute I mean just that.

The woman has the right to control her male without any restrictions and the male is expected to be obedient and compliant to her wishes, understanding he has no choices in how she wishes him to serve her and must accept all of her decisions without objection. And deep down inside, most submissive males desire this and are more than eager to turn over complete authority to the women they serve without hesitation.

How women typically first learn about the male’s need for your control and discipline, however, can be a first hurdle women must clear before she can learn to take her natural role as the dominant partner and decision maker.

I can’t even begin to imagine what a woman must think as she hears her husband or boyfriend confess his longing desire for her control and his wish to serve and submit to her every command.  Admitting to fantasies of sexual submission and female dominance that he cannot escape.  He probably won’t admit at first, at least not without some firm encouragement, that he has been secretly masturbating for years (and years) to fantasies of being the sexual and domestic servant and slave of a demanding and powerful woman.  A woman who demands his obedience and submission to her will and won’t hesitate to put him over her knee for a paddling at the first hint of resistance.

Most women first learn about the male need for sexual and emotional submission to female authority from their boyfriend or husband.  Many have never even considered such a way of living and it can come as a something of a shock.  Not having lived through that moment with the woman’s point of view, however, does not make me nearly qualified to judge how you reacted.  I can assure you that most males will easily forgive your first reaction once you inform him of your willingness to begin exploring the dynamic slowly and at the pace you find comfortable.

What I do know about these moments, however, is that many women mistakenly see this secret desire of their husbands or boyfriends to submit to a woman as a sign his is damaged or broken.  They may not be able to stop themselves from making a disparaging or even hurtful comment about this failure of him to act like a “real man” but many of these women will at least investigate the idea for no other reason then they love and want to help their husbands.

Pretend World for Boys

Sadly, one of the worst things a submissive male can do to poison his wife or girlfriends wiliness to explore a relationship-based approach like Loving Female Authority or Female-Led Relationships is let her find the pornographic view of submissive boys that consistently ranks on search engines for every conceivable term related to the female domination of the male by the female.  Leather-clad porn stars scream and abuse the male submissive, calling him a pig and maybe even a fag.

It’s not even close to being a very pretty picture.  It is also as removed from the reality of Female-Led Relationships as porn is from dating.  Never forget the porn industry is almost exclusively still a male dominated profession.  (From the production and financing point of view of course.  Pretty young girls being taken advantage of and lied to as part of doing business is typically an all male type of behavior as well.)    If you look long enough you might find one video clip in a thousand that shows a more healthy, loving sexuality but I’m not sure its worth your time.  As a business philosopher once noted, “you can find a crust of bread in a dumpster but I don’t recommend you try.”.

Boys and men are simply not capable of the loving kindness and emotional support women give instinctively. A woman in charge may mean the boys tremble in fear at times, but over the course of time it will be the rising river that raises all ships.  In time you will come to see some of the new rules you will create for him is ultimately for his own good and allows him to feel the loving control you grant him.   In truth, males have much to gain from accepting your gift of control and direction.  The sooner he is able to learn this for his own good and  accepts his place as your servant and slave the better for everyone.

Your authority and dominance will supplant the role males were given as patriarchal social order enjoyed its moment in history — a moment that shows some very clear signs it is being replaced by women asserting their natural superiority and the social and spiritual benefits a social order based on a matriarchal framework

So what is the reality? What do women really think of these types of relationships once they become involved in one?  Here are a few of the things I see women who pursue this lifestyle come to love about their new lives.


I.  The woman’s sexual pleasure comes first and she should expect him to focus all his sexual energy on pleasing her while he is only allowed infrequent orgasms and only then if she believes he deserves such a reward.

keeping-him-focused-on-youFirst, women find their sex lives are hotter than ever and begin loving the look of absolute submission in their husbands eyes as he begins learning her needs, and how she wishes to be pleasured.  Many women also comment that they feel more confident in trying new things sexually and see what a positive impact it has on her male’s behavior and sexual desire for her it only gives her the willingness to take some chances and be open and honest.  Sometimes something just isn’t for her, or for them, and that doesn’t have to be seen as failure.

The submissive, however, should be quickly introduced to orgasm denial and control and fitted with a chastity device you can lock so he is no longer allowed to masturbate when you’re not within eyesight.  And yes it is absolutely true men masturbate constantly and without even recognizing the way it robs them of the sexual energy they should be saving for their wife.    In a later article I will explain why this is necessary and actually good for him and your marriage.  For now, if you find the use of a locking chastity device a little “out there,’ suspend your disbelief until you learn the many reasons its necessary, why it is so effective, and how sexy it can be for you.


II.  A submissive male is expected to serve his domina domestically and as you gain more control of your male you can assign him to clean the house, do the dishes and laundry, cook as he is able and serve you in any manner you might enjoy. 

Of course you are not a wholly selfish and self-centered person and will no doubt still help by keeping a few chores for yourself each week but only the ones you enjoy or don’t want him doing.  Well be talking about how you keep him motivating and helping the both of you learn that it is perfectly reasonable for a woman to expect her male to devote time to domestic service and helping to find more time for you to  enjoy reading, soaking in a hot tub, or visiting with friends.

Trust me.  In time he will be not only be cleaning the house and doing all the laundry but he will be doing it exactly you wish because you will come to expect him to do as he is told and even find when it is necessary to discipline him for failing to meet your standards, in time, you will come to see why he needs this control and how you can help him stay focused and productive without burning out in the process.



III.  Your authority is present in every part of your lives and so it extends to choosing the television programs you will watch, picking the movies you go to see, deciding which restaurant you will go for dinner.  His television and leisure time is your decision as well and so you will decide how many hours to watch television, surf the net, play video games, etc.  A busy male is a productive male.

Of course taking away television and other privileges can also help him focus and remind him of his place and your authority.  There is something emasculating and humbling at being told when you may watch television and which program you may watch.  You will occasionally notice his ego trying to reassert itself and take some control of his world but by this time you will be well-versed in the gentle art of emasculating and conditioning your male to better suit your wishes for how you would prefer him to behave and the degree to which you wish to enjoy his helplessness and need to have you help him learn to accept new goals for male behavior.

happy-to-the-ironingIf you do take him with you to go out to eat, you will order his dinner from the menu without bothering to ask and he will have learned by this time that he is to quietly accept your authority to do what you wish with him.  As a woman, you will know when and how to reinforce his self-esteem and know that denying him any power, no matter how insignificant the choice may seem from your vantage-point.

And another nice use of your newly trained male is to have him kneel with his back to the television and give you a pedicure, foot massage and worship session or lower himself so you may use him as a footstool while enjoying your shows.  In these and similar positions he cannot see the television and is once again reminded of his status and your authority to rule his world.

So when you hear FLA, think:

For the Woman’s Pleasure & Placing Her Needs First!


IV.  Send him to school to learn how to cook or how to give you professional quality  pedicures and manicures.  One creative woman sent her husband to a class that taught domestic service for butlers and maids who served the rich for a six-week introductory course and says it is the best investment she ever made.

You will learn as you go how to sexualize these tasks and choose to let him out of his chastity cage so you can manipulate his cocklette while praising his newly learned abilities and how much you love his devotion to your needs.  In time, when you adopt a slow, but relentless program of helping his body learn to sexualize these acts so he finds himself sexually excited when told what you demand from him next.

if they don’t last more than an hour he can watch each week and when in the mood you can invite him to watch yours shows wish you re have him kneel with his back t

how she wishes to be served and almost immediately she will like how it feels to be adored and it becomes obvious how excited he is to be near her.  In almost no time at all she is comfortable with the principle that her sexual pleasure comes first.  His comes only when she is happy with his devotion to her pleasure.


V.  Eliminate arguments over money and spending by taking control of the finances and choose how much or how little you want to include him when it comes to spending and saving decisions and stop him from making purchases on anything without being given your permission.

I know one woman who did not like the drudgery of paying the monthly bills or shopping for items the they needed in the home.  To solve the problem she has  her husband write out the checks for their bills each month and then present them to her for  her signature and approval.  His name was taken off their savings and checking accounts and his ATM and credit cards were taken away.

You’ll be surprised how much easier life can be when arguments over who spent what on what are no longer possible.  If he has a talent for money management you can have him do the research and leg work on any financial decision you will need to make and them have him present his opinion so you can make a more informed decision.  Once he has given you the options and explained what he learned about the subject he has fulfilled your expectation he be helpful but you are ultimately in firm control of your budgets, savings, investments, etc.   If you have never been involved and a little nervous about the responsibility you can view him as your personal training wheels while you get your footing.


I’ll continue to explore the first steps in establishing a relationship based on Loving Female Authority and what women should know before they enter this lifestyle.

To be continued….


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